WATCH THIS.
Kelly Osbourne Skinny – Marilyn Manson Fat!
The polarity of Gothville has officially been reversed, for the impossible has happened- twofold! Check out Kelly Osbourne!
She used to be an absolute NIGHTMARE. Anyone remember Papa Don’t Preach?? The music video for that single was almost as annoying as the cover itself. But what happened? She got hot!
And in the blue corner, our long lost champion of gothic industrial-metal has apparently made up for the Osbourne family’s recent loss of poundage…
This is 100% real!
This picture has been circulating for awhile now, and as you can see, our friend Manatee Manson has seen better days. Looks like he finally got tired of being one of the ‘Beautiful People.’ To be perfectly honest, I think this is all too good to be true- I expect to wake up any minute and return to a normal world, where Marilyn is pale and sickly, Kelly Osbourne is thick and prickly, and everything is dull and predictable again.
P.S. In Kelly’s defense, this song and video that she released a few years back made up for the havoc she wreaked on our eardrums early in her career. Check it out.
I Owe You Something
Here ya go, kid. Happy Birthday.
International Talk Like a Pirate Day
Ahoy there! Today is a major holiday- international Talk Like a Pirate Day. So, er, avast mateys! Arrr! (I don’t know how to talk like a pirate…) 😦
Who’s excited fer October? I fer one can’t wait fer Columbus day, when I’ll be organizing the second annual Connecticut Columbus Day party… Arr! Last years Columbus Day bash was a huge success, and I think this one should be even bigger, better, and… WETTER! Arr! (lol idk) Beer, newspaper explorer hats, and hopefully a canoe expedition to explore the river. Columbus Day is one of my favorite holidays 🙂
Also, Halloween will be here in no time! I’m not telling what my costume is going to be, but I will tell you that it’s going to be spectacular.
Arr!
American Idol Finally Did Something Right??
Ok, so I love watching people’s hopes and dreams being crushed just like everyone else in America. What could be better for this country and its values than a show that allows people to vicariously experience the thrill of competing for unimaginable riches and unrivaled fame, without ever having to step away from the sofa? Fun for the whole family, right? Wrong. Because let’s face it: every artist that the show launches always sucks.
But… wait! Who is this guy?
That’s right! His name is Blake Lewis, and he’s the first artist to be launched by American Idol with a record worth checking out. Heartbreak on Vinyl came out nearly a year ago, and its a shame that I didn’t discover it sooner. I remember seeing this guy on American Idol some years back (and always thinking ‘hey, isn’t that guy a little bit too cool for this show?’), but I’d forgotten all about him until I started hearing his stuff at work. The record is deliciously poppy, infectiously danceable, and *gasp* actually ORIGINAL. Very much worth your $9.99, trust.
Guinness World Record- Human Dominoes!
This morning on Regis & Kelly, they set a new world record. Pretty impressive, it took forever for each and every mattress to fall. It cracked me up how each person would let out a little scream or a laugh when they got knocked down.
Ohio Republican Gives ‘Hitler’ Speech & Makes Total Ass of Himself
Ok, I’m no expert in politics. What I would like to know is, how do morons like that get even so much as an audience? Even if it does happen to be an audience that’s trying their hardest not to laugh. I mean, is there any doubt about what he’s doing here? He’s actually TRYING to emulate the speaking style of Adolf Hitler. Let’s set aside the fact that he’s doing a terrible, terrible job, and focus for a moment on the mere fact that, he is EMULATING HITLER. What is our world coming to?
At least we have the security of knowing that Phil Davison (that’s this idiots name, for those of you who were wondering) failed to secure his nomination. The only thing this poorly executed speech turned out to be good for, was giving us all a good laugh (if not a dropped-jaw and an unmistakable “WTF?” face).
Happy Birthday Mario!
Well, it’s official. Mario is now 25 years old. After 25 years, he’s still trying to defeat the same arch-nemesis. He’s still chasing after the same girl, that high-maintenance blond who always plays hard-to-get (literally). He’s still doing magic mushrooms and going on violent killing sprees (see above picture), crushing every turtle in sight and enjoying every minute of it. Good job, Mario. You’ve accomplished nothing.
All jokes aside, I love Super Mario. A true classic and, despite all the above nonsense, I never get sick of it. Here’s to the video game that defines all video games. Long live the Mushroom Kingdom!
Lady Gaga Shows Her Meat…
Remember not to invite Lady Gaga to your “Anything-But-Clothes” party. I’m mostly just disappointed to see that Vogue, a respected name in fashion, is affiliating itself with this kind of frivolity. I don’t see this as fashionable in any way, it’s just a shameless publicity stunt. Anyone who takes this kind of shit seriously must actually be retarded.
Hello, Spider. 